RescueCut: A tale of Redemption

RescueCut: A tale of redemption

By SF ArcticCreeper

Chapter 1: Heroes Aren’t Born. They’re Folded.

By Patty Potsenburg

Wow. I get to write a case file chapter. Seriously it’s an honor. Holy cow…

Okay, I didn’t go into the creepy attic to get this typewriter to idle over the paper like a schmoe! (Schmoe. I came up with that insult. It’s from Toy Story!) I came to save the person who saved me! 

If you remember, recently, the school caught on fire. This guy who shows up out of nowhere, Spider-Labelmaker, comes in and shows me the fire exit. Man, he was the nicest guy ever! If only I knew what he looked like under that mask…  

I’m sorry did that get dreamy? Anyways, he suddenly went crazy recently and is not hesitating to use force. He now has a half white costume. I know all about DC comics and Marvel and all that stuff, and I’d say he’s acting like when Green Lantern got possessed by Parallax. The worst thing? As the origami rebellion is having meetings he swoops in and wrecks the place. Tables turned, origami paper everywhere, case files ruined. Then he disappears. And the worst thing is Mrs Calhoun can’t track him! In fact, she’s never in there when this stuff happens! 

A special operative had to track this guy down. I looked around for Marvel female heroes to fold. Captain Marvel? Too much. Mrs Marvel? Too juvenile. Then I found it. “Rescue? Pepper Potts had an Iron man suit?” I then noticed that it wasn’t round, but more triangular. “Nice. I know just the recipe to fold it.” And then, a couple minutes of folding and coloring later, I had myself a new induction into the rebel alliance: RescueCut.

Chapter 2: First Day At Work

By Tommy

Another Marvel puppet. Gee, great. I guess I shouldn’t complain though. I found Patty in the library, typing the heck out of that old typewriter she has now, and reading books about government spies and espionage. “Crap, I’m outta ink.” She said, and pulled a cylindrical column about the size of a vacuum cleaner filter out of her backpack, and jammed it into the side of the typewriter. Looking closer, I could see she had about 20 or 30 of ‘em in her backpack. “Whatcha doin’?” I asked, sounding like Isabelle from Phineas and Ferb. 

“Trying to find out how to climb into vents, as one does.” I looked at her like something smelled bad. “Yikes. What are ya, a bug?” 

“No, I’m trying to catch a bug. Or a spider, specifically.” Then I saw him again. “Speak of the devil…” I whispered. Patty jumped up, and put an Iron Man mask. Well not really Iron Man. This one was more triangular. And oddly.. purple? 

She ran over to investigate. “Do you see him?” I yelled from the table. “No, I don’t!” She replied. Then there he was.

On top of the book case. Half white mask, half white coat. “Oh no! Patty, run! It’s the Spider” “Huh?” She asked. Did I mention she’s on hearing aids? They’re almost invisible so she doesn’t get the Caroline treatment. Oh dear Jabba, I thought, She hasn’t turned them up! 

Spider-Labelmaker jumped off the bookcase, nudged it, and I heard Patty scream. Then he jumped down into a vent. The rest of the alliance was horrified, of course. I ran over to the bookcase and saw nothing but a pile of dictionaries. Out of them came Patty. Her mask was cracked a little. “Oof,” she said, “I took a big hit. I’m okay though.”

“You sure?” I reasoned, “No cracked ribs?” 

She calmly digged under that pink hoodie of hers and revealed a small cushion. “Always keep it with me. Just in case.” My eyes were about as big as dinner plates. “How? When? Where? Why? What?… Who?”I blubbered. “A good spy never reveals her secrets.” She smirked.

Chapter 3: A List of Spidey Encounters

By Tommy and Patty

Tommy:We should keep track of these encounters so we know his strategies.

Patty:*Grabs a marker* Excellent idea!

A list encounters with the rouge member of the ORA: 

In the lunchroom, spoiling milk. 

In the school yard, on top of the jungle gym.

At the bus stop, watching with binoculars.

Absolutely palming Zack and jumping away.

Tommy: Hmmmmm…

Patty:This seems oddly specific. Like domestic terrorism.

Tommy: Don’t all terrorists have a leader? Like the Onderon Rebels were. 

Patty: Yea, he’s gotta be working for someone. Also… what the heck, did you seriously agree with the Confederacy on that one? 

Tommy: We’ve gotta think like spies. We need to find out where he’s going after school.

Patty: I’ll buy some security cams. We’ll set them around the Francetown Neighborhood. I’ve seen him there before.

Tommy: Great idea. Meet me there this afternoon.

Patty: You got it.

Chapter 4: Kickin’ It Like James Bond

By Patty

3:00 pm:

Tommy and I got straight to work. Security cams in the trees. On lamposts. In sewer manhole covers. 

4:00 pm:

Spidey spotted! He found the first manhole cam and smashed it. We set up a backup in another manhole in case this happened. 

4:07 pm:

The second manhole cam records footsteps. Spidey is in the sewers! Either he’s trying to catch a pet rat, or he’s up to something…

4:11 pm:

I think we found his boss. He’s handing him something…I can’t see it! Are those skittles? HE WAS SMUGGLING SKITTLES? No wonder he was in the lunchroom! He didn’t mean to mess with the milk, he was looking for skittles! But why? Wait a second, Tommy is freaking out. 

4:15 pm:

Okay, Tommy just gave me a little history lesson. After a scuffle with some other kids that liked Lord of the Rings or something, they discovered some special skittles that can bring people back to life. So this is why he did all of this?

After reviewing the evidence, we can conclude 3 things:

1: Spidey was terrorizing students for a reason; He didn’t want them to find the skittles.

2: His boss is stockpiling these magic skittles.

3:Spidey’s new costume was laced with the skittles, which must have been tuned to hypnotize him.

There was only one thing left to do:

Chapter 5: Unmask The Spider

By Patty

The next day we went down to investigate the sewers. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing: Crates full of Skittles. They were marked,”Defective” and all over the wall were maps and shipping routes. 

“These must be where the trucks delivering the skittles are!” 

“I don’t think they’re delivering them,” I said. 

“Look, all these routes go to the trash dump.” 

“But if they know they’re magic, then why are they treating them like trash?”

 “That’s the thing. They don’t know that they’re magic. To them, they’re just defective.” 

I said. Tommy was confused. 

“Then how’d they get in the school?” I sighed. 

“It was a misorder.” Then we heard it. Slow clapping. Sarcastic clapping. “Well, look who figured it out!” Spider-Labelmaker, acting like he was the smuggest thing to ever exist, said. 

Tommy and I looked at each other and thought the exact same thing: “Run.” I couldn’t believe how slow thinking Spidey was! He didn’t even see us streak by! And his mask on the way! 

“I’ve got it!” I yelled. Sure enough, there were red skittles all over the underside. Then something sailed through the air past us. A glass bottle full of purple skittles! 

The second that suckerhit the floor and shattered everywhere, we could hardly move. Something jumped over us and my brain nearly melted like ice in a pizza oven when I saw who it was! JEROME QUANTINE!!!! 

Our jaws dropped quite slowly, due to the effects of the skittles. “Iiiiiiii waaaaaasss youuuuuuuuu?” I said.  “Surprised?” He smirked. Jerome was Spider-Labelmaker? How could I be so stupid? He’s Frencher than a French Fry! “Thanks for getting that mask off of me.” He said, rubbing his head. “Now let’s go see who my subordinate is!” After about 2 minutes of running, we saw the same guy wearing the same hoodie like we saw in the security cam footage. Jerome yanked off the hood and it was…

Chapter 6: Harvey

By Patty

“HARVEY!!!!!?????” We all yelled. “I’m sorry!” He said, backing away, “I-I can explain!” Tommy was madder than heck. “You better! I have the right to fire you!”

“I just wanted to see what they do! I need to save my grandmother!” 

“HUH?!” We all said. “She’s dying of pneumonia!” 

We all looked at each other and said, “Oh….” Tommy sighed and said,”If you’re going to use these to heal people, request granted, but never do something like that again.” 

2 WEEKS LATER…

A Grandma healed and countless others saved… Harvey found a great use for these! I can’t wait to go on more adventures! Until then, we continue to save people with these skittles. I have a feeling that they can kill though…

TO BE CONTINUED…

  1. Yeah, I got the onderan rebels reference. sorry guys.

  2. And what????
    This is supposed to be in OYEU legends, not MOU else worlds!

  3. Well, Rescue IS a Marvel character…

  4. And purple?! SERIOUSLY? This is supposed to be classic Rescue!

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