Origami Chewbacca II: The Attack of Crease Dooku!
The Revenge of the Sith
Last Year, in 7th Grade, my friend Dwight Tharp invited me to his house.
That would have been normal, just a couple of friends, hangin’ out, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is normal with Dwight. That trip to his house was to defeat a vile villain, Crease Dooku, who threatened Origami Chewbacca’s home planet, Cashyyk (an Origami dollar bill planet). Crease Dooku had set up a boarder of Origami Battle Droids to defeat Chewbacca. But, with a little help from Origami Admiral Ackbar, we fought Crease Dooku, and saved the planet! But, little did we know he would return, and he would return with a new dope; Harvey Cunningham!
A New Dope
Yo! The reason we are doing this case file is because Harvey actually requested it of us. Can you imagine? Harvey, asking US for help!! Asking ORIGAMI YODA for help!!!
Y’see, for the past couple of years, Harvey has been all down about Origami Yoda. He thinks that he is “just a paperwad,” but we knew the truth. Origami Yoda had been helping us through Middle School, with girl problems, pop quizzes, evil teachers, skating brats, and even evil little monkey puppets! (Soapy, to be exact). Origami Yoda is our friend, as is Dwight. Dwight is generally an oddball, but a fun oddball at that. He helps us when we need it, and he’s a true friend. Harvey, on the other hand, doesn’t have many friends; so he just folds more origami Star Wars characters, hoping to one day defeat Dwight, and prove that Origami Yoda is a fake. (Which isn’t true; he is too real!) Anyway, Harvey somehow found out about Crease Dooku. So, he actually broke into Dwight’s house and found Crease Dooku, but there is no proof that he did.
So why the heck are we making a helpful case file for Harvey if he’s such a jerk?!? Don’t tell anybody, but we are actually using this to try and catch Harvey; if in his writing he confesses to breaking and entering into Dwight’s house, we could even put him in Juvi! (Not that we really want to, but Harvey crossed a line when he did that!)
Harvey wants us to write the case file to show Mrs. Rabbski that Crease Dooku is allowed in school, and that Origami Yoda is not. That’s just as crazy as Horton Halfpott telling Casper Bengue that his fake mustache is crooked! Harvey must be stopped! This is our case file into Crease Dooku and a New Dope!
Origami Dooku and the Power of the Dark Side
“Well, Paperwad Yoda has finally met his match, my young apprentice,” Crease Dooku said to me, “We will defeat Dwight, and do what Darth Paper and your Origami Yoda could not.”
I looked down at the garbage bin where I had torn up and thrown away Origami Anakin/Vader and my Origami Yoda. They were both almost successful at doing the impossible, defeating Origami Yoda, but sadly, Tommy’s case files and Yoda’s so called “wisdom” always beat me in the end; of course, Darth Paper was actually helping Dwight, but that’s not the point, he still failed to defeat him, since I found out that I hadn’t won when I thought I did, back when Dwight sent me that note saying Origami Yoda wasn’t real, but Dwight (or Yoda) had Jedi Mind Tricked me.
“We will win, Crease Dooku. The Power of the Dark Side of the Fold is strong with us.”
“We will defeat my maker who betrayed me, then, we will kill his useless puppet!” Crease Dooku replied. (I don’t remember actually making him say that; could HE be real?)
Origami Dooku Goes to School
Well, as always, jerky Harvey was walking into second period Geometry when he pulls out this piece of paper that was folded into, I guess, Origami Count Dooku. (Harvey insists I say that he is incredible, and way better than Origami Yoda, but that’s not what I think at all).
Crease Dooku told me “You cannot do Geometry without my power!”
I HATE when people insist for me do something or follow someone, especially Harvey, so I just said to him, “Harvey, I can do Geometry without you, and I can do it a heck of a lot better than if I took help from you, thank you very much.”
“Well, young Senator, we will now discuss your allegiance with the Confederacy,” said Crease Dooku, “I challenge you to a battle of the brains; today at lunch. We will exchange questions and answers, and see who is smarter of us both, and whoever wins must admit that either Crease Dooku or Paperwad Yoda is fake.”
Well, I, being the tough-girl that I am, I took his challenge, but I knew that Harvey had been getting better grades then me in Geometry, and I was a little bit worried; it was already 11:30! So I asked Harvey if he could put it off until tomorrow at lunch. He allowed me, but only if he gets the first question point by default. Reluctantly, I agreed.
So, when I got home, I walked over to Dwight’s house. He lives right next door to me. I told him about my dilemma, and he said that I should ask Origami Yoda.
“Origami Yoda, what should I do about this competition with Harvey?”
“Answer do not. Ask questions, you should,” he said.
“What does that mean?!?”
“Means it does that if give him THESE questions, win the challenge you will.”
Dwight then gave me a notepad with questions and answers on it. But I didn’t tell him I was coming over! Could Origami Yoda… No, not even the great Origami Yoda could see the future to that extent! (Actually I think he could, but Harvey made me write that I didn’t think so). The next day, I went to Harvey, at the lunch table, where he sat with Origami Count Dooku. He asked me the first question, and I didn’t know the answer, so I didn’t answer him, like Origami Yoda said. Harvey got annoyed with me and decided to have me give the answers first. So, I started with the first one:
“How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck would?” I asked.
Harvey looked aghast, “How am I supposed to know that?!?!? I DON’T KNOW!!! NOBODY KNOWS!!!”
Ok, the plan was working well so far, but now it was time to zing him with the second question:
“How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?”
Harvey smiled, “You…You’re trying to make me lose! You’re cheating! If I asked you one, you wouldn’t know it, either!”
I knew where this was going, and Dwight told me about it.
“Ok, fine, give me a question, then!”
Harvey started, “What is Sara Bolt’s middle name? WAIT, WHAT?!?”
“Dorothy,” I say to him, proudly.
“NOOOO!!! That’s not fair!! You ARE cheating!!!” Harvey whined.
“Well, you were cheating when you robbed Dwight’s house for Crease Dooku!” Our big plan was finally in motion.
“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Harvey said, suspiciously, “I didn’t take Dooku or Chewie or anybody!”
Well, that didn’t work. I still won, and Harvey admitted the truth about Crease Dookafdlhfluiruglfjhku4hgku……………………..
What Just Happened
What just happened to Sara’s story was that I am now going to write the ENTIRE story! I can’t have them all sabotaging it! And what’s this stuff about a “master plan” or “proof” that their talking about?!? It makes no sense!! Obviously, Paperwad Yoda is just Dwight being a tad bit clever. I mean, Dwight must have known that Sara was coming, or maybe he just planned for someday to zing me along with Sara with some quick questions. Anyway, there is NO WAY that I could believe that Origami Yoda is real. By the way, I did not admit the truth about Crease Dooku, because it’s NOT the truth! I really think that my Crease Dooku is absolutely, positively, 100% REAL!!!!!
Tommy’s Comment: Hey guys! I stole Harvey’s case file quickly to tell you that Harvey stole from Dwight and he is a liar and a cheater! ORIGAMI YODA IS REAL!!! DWIGHT SAID SO!!! IN DARTH PAPER STRIKES BACK!! READ THE FINAL PAGES AFTER “YARDSTICK!!” WHY AM I IN CAPS LOCK?!?!?
Crease Dooku VS Origami Yoda
By Harvey; edited by Tommy and Dwight
One day, I woke up and told Origami Dooku that today was the day that Dwight and Origami Yoda would pay for everything they did to us. Yes, I acknowledge that Origami Yoda could be real, just as Darth Paper may have been real, and Crease Dooku is real. Maybe…just maybe….Tommy and Dwight had a point. Origami Yoda is REAL.
“Now, my young apprentice,” Crease Dooku spoke to me, “we will destroy Dwight and bring peace to our new empire!”
“You got it!” I said, not thinking that Crease actually might DESTROY Dwight.
That day at school, I found Dwight’s locker, and shoved a letter into it, so that Dwight will fall into our trap. It said that I believe in Paperwad Yoda, and that I wanted to apologize, which is half-right. I DO believe that Origami Yoda is real, but Dwight has barely anything to do with him. Then, I wrote Dwight that he should come to the library with Origami Yoda so I can apologize to the both of them. Instead, they will feel the wrath of DARTH HARVEY!!! (Oh, and Crease Dooku)
From my point of view, it looked like Harvey was finally turning a new leaf. Boy was I brown! When I got to the library, I saw Harvey with Crease Dooku. I instinctively pulled out Origami Yoda, and got him ready for battle.
Well, I was at the library, flirting with Sara using Origami General Grievous, which I obtained from Dwight, when I saw the two of them, Dwight and Harvey, in a light-paper duel to the death!!!
“Fought well you have, my former padawan,” said Origami Yoda.
“This is only the beginning,” said Harvey, or maybe Crease Dooku.
The two of them continued to duel, but were kicked out of the library for being too loud. They continued with the fight, and I watched them. They (OY and CD) battled ferociously, for pieces of paper; and so did Dwight and Harvey. Those two were actually trying to hit each other, which could expel them both! I tried to stop them, when Crease Dooku said, independently from Harvey, who wasn’t even moving his lips, “I’m sorry, old friend…continue the executions!” Then, Harvey freaked out!
I was REALLY REALLY SCARED!!!!! I mean, I knew Origami Dooku was real, but not REAL, y’know?
I dropped him the second he stopped his sentence, and he just floated up into the air and waved his light-paper independently!
“Now, young Tharp, you will die!!!” he said, as he actually fired REAL Force Lightning at Dwight.
“Harvey, save me!!” Dwight pleaded.
Tommy tried to stop him with General Grievous, but Grievous, of course, worked side by side with Dooku. The two of them continued to, like, KILL Dwight!!!!! I knew what I had to do…
I charged at Crease Dooku, ripped off his light-paper, and threw him off the balcony of the second floor! General Grievous turned back into normal paper, and Tommy picked him up again.
“Finally, get it do you?” said Origami Yoda, out of Dwight’s hand and without Dwight talking, since he was in pain, “really real are we.”
“HOW?!?” asked Tommy, dazed.
“For me to know, that is, and you to find out,” he said, with a chuckle. I had spent so much time trying to find out the truth, and what I learn scares me. I didn’t know he could do THAT!!!!! I helped Dwight up, and Origami Yoda nodded at him, as though he could finally tell us something.
“Guys,” I said, speaking to Tommy and Harvey, “I have been keeping this a secret for too long; Origami Yoda IS Yoda! He was a force ghost for awhile, but then he actually learned how to transfer his consciousness into a piece of paper, that I folded! The same thing happened to Harvey’s Darth Papers, apparently, and also Crease Dooku and Chewbacca and Grievous and others. Crease Dooku was a REAL threat to Chewbacca’s REAL home, and you saved it, Tommy; you and the real Origami Ackbar. Dooku wanted revenge, I guess. But Harvey, can you admit that you really did break into my house to steal Crease, and you took Tommy’s story?”
“He doesn’t have to!” Tommy said, “I read our case file, and I found that Harvey said in Sara’s chapter, and I quote, ‘I didn’t steal Crease Dooku, or CHEWIE, or anything!’ How did he know you had Chewie, Dwight? He never read that you had him in the first case file, and he never really saw him!”
WE HAD PROOF!!
The Final Chapter
By Tommy and Origami Yoda
Well, after I finished writing the rest of the case file with Dwight and a reformed Harvey, we all decided that we wouldn’t press any charges on Harvey, and even Dwight’s mom thought that Harvey was just being a boy.
Sadly, Origami Yoda told us to hide this case file, so that we, nor anyone else, would never see it again. We wondered why we had to hide it from ourselves, for obvious reasons, and he said, “YOU’LL NOW UNLEARN WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED.”
Hello! Origami Yoda this is! Finished, the story is. Tell a soul that I blogged the entire story on OY Expanded Universe, you will not! Me, silly is! 😛
Forgotten the events of Origami Chewbacca and Crease Dooku, McQuarrie Middle School has. The End…This Is.