Episode XXIII: Crease of Rebellion
Crease of Rebellion
A very famous Twi’lek once said, “We have hope. Hope that things will get better… And they will.”
I really hope she was right.
To be honest, things are looking bleak right now. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve been in so many origami/school crises that I’ve lost count. I’ve faced paper incarnations of just about every Star Wars villain you could name. General Creasous? Check. Emperor Papertine? Check. Origami Darth Bane? Check. And don’t even get me started on every single stupid bounty hunter that crossed paths with me. Gosh, one time I even had to face myself when Origami Starkiller messed with my head.
After the showdown with Lisa and the seemingly happily-ever-after events afterwards, I was really, REALLY hoping that this was it. That I could walk out of McQuarrie on a high note for the first time in my life. That I would never have to see a sorry paperwad excuse (pardon my Harvey-ism) for a villain again. Ever. Period.
Life just doesn’t wanna give me a break.
Now, I’ve got to deal with the stupid Knights of Pen and this Supreme-Pain-in-the-Butt. What’s funny is that, of all the origami baddies that I’ve seen, the Knights may be the simplest and most poorly done. They’re literally just pieces of white printer paper, folded sloppily into slightly modified EZ Darth Papers, and then scribbled on to give some resemblance to the Knights of Ren. At least people like Tony D. Struction and Vernon O’Brian put some craftsmanship and style into their creations. The Knights are really putting the origami Star Wars villain legacy to shame.
But enough ranting. Gee, I’m sounding more like Harvey every minute. I’m just so sick and tired of everything. I wish I could leave all that bad stuff behind. Especially being framed for the vandalism of the school, which means McQuarrie Middle School’s closing has been put on hold for another couple of weeks. And now, with Supreme Liter Coke’s origami takeover, I’m also Foldy-Wan-less.
I guess all this makes it pretty fitting that I temporarily wield the origami Kanan Jarrus that Noah lent me. Me and Kanan have a lot in common. We’re both tired of fighting, and we both lost something. And when someone comes after our friends and steals their stuff…
Then we both become Forces to be reckoned with (pun totally intended).
It’s time to rebel again.
Enter the Inquisitor
Speaking of origami outlaws and folded felons (sorry, I’ve been learning about alliteration in literature class), it’s time that I introduce the newest baddie on the block: Job.
It was almost time to go home when I heard some talking and shouting. (Probably Harvey). I noticed a kid with an origami Inquisitor.
“Cool dude,” I said. I really thought it was good, a little unfolded by the sides, but… still okay.
He tugged his blue hoodie further over his head, concealing his face. “Yeah, I made it myself.”
Of course, this comment attracted the attention of Harvey, who, as usual, was happy to give his classic Cunningham criticism (dang, I cannot get over using alliteration).
“HA!” sneered Harvey. “So, you made it by yourself. Makes sense, cause your origami is definitely… meh.”
“Chill off, Harvey.” I said, rolling my eyes.
“I didn’t say it was bad, I just said it was meh. Anyway, what’s your name?”
Harvey glanced down at his “new kid” nametag and laughed. “JOB!!! I have a cousin named Job. He’s so dang easy to tease. Like this: Have you got a job, Job?”
“Actually, my name is pronounced JOE with a BUH sound at the end,” he replied innocently. “And yes, actually, I do have a job… as the chief enforcer of Supreme Liter Coke’s will.”
Job’s face suddenly became very sinister as he raised his paper puppet to face me and Harvey. Job mimicked the Inquisitor’s elegant voice and said, “Beware, foolish Jedi. I am the Grand Inquisit-origami… and you are being watched. Don’t try anything stupid, or you will fall.”
Harvey’s Comment: Only a dumb-dumb like Job could figure how out how to make the name “Inquisitor” even longer.
By Job (“Borrowed” from Job’s journal)
A few minutes after scaring those puny origami-less kids with my incredible Inquisitor voice (I’ve been perfecting it for hours), I got a phone call from Supreme Liter Coke.
“Ah, my chief enforcer,” said the low, computer-changed voice. “Have you heralded my threats?”
“Yes, my lord,” I replied. “I have done exactly as you have directed.”
“Very good, very good. Now, I need you to make an errand for me. At the local Quickpick, tell the cashier ‘I like nuts.’ He’ll hand you a gym bag filled with magic skittles.Drop it off in the dumpster behind the school… it reeks of baked beans… you can’t miss it. That is all.”
“Operation: Skittle-Seize” is a go.
At the end of school, I walked to the Quickpick. Tommy was watching me, but he had no idea about the malicious mission I was carrying out.
An automatic door bell chimed as I entered the Quickpick. I passed an aisle chock full of Pork Rinds and found a freckled eighteen-year-old reading a comic book. His nametag said, “Welcome to the Quickpick! My name is: Gilbert.”
I put my elbow on the table and waited ‘til Gilbert’s eyes moved from his comic book to my face.
“Uh, can I, like, help you?” he asked.
I lowered my voice to whisper. “I like nuts.”
Gilbert’s eyes widened. “Oh, are you the dude here for the recalled Skittles?”
I nodded. Gilbert looked around the place to make sure no one else was in the Quickpick. He even closed the blinds of the nearest window. Then, after double-checking, he went under the counter, and brought up, as promised, a giant, stuffed-to-the-brim gym bag.
“It’s, like, prepaid for and all,” he told me. “You can, uh, exit out the backdoor, man.”
Gilbert led me outside through the backdoor, and was about to go back inside, but turned around and gave me one final warning: “Use them well.”
I performed the rest of the task with ease… although I may have snuck one of the Skittle packs with me.
By chance, I felt hungry later that day. I tasted one of the candies, and, by causality, I thought of my Inquisit-origami. I thought of the Supreme Leader’s power. I wanted a taste of that power far more than the fruity taste in my mouth.
“Strange,” I thought. “Very strange…”
Force Ghost Yoda Speaks
I was feeling weird, watching Job getting out of the Quickpick with a big gym bag of possibly dangerous stuff. So, I decided to visit Dwight’s house and ask Force Ghost Yoda about it. I was surprised that this non-authentic Origami Yoda actually had advice.
“A question you have?” the soft, ghost-like voice of Yoda asked.
“Yes. See, there’s a new origami wielder at school…” Then, I told him about Job’s recent shenanigans.
“Clouded, Job’s actions are…” pondered Yoda. “More aid you need. Formed, a rebellion must be.”
“A second Origami Rebel Alliance?” I raised my eyebrow. “I don’t think I can rally the whole school again…”
“Unnecessary, that would be. Only a small team do you need. To take back what is yours, a team, assembled, it must be. Be like me, your team must.”
“The team must be like you? What do you mean? Like Jedi Masters?
“No, like ghosts… a Ghost Crew.”
The Origami Ghost Crew
I, for one, was unsure about this new origami rebellion thing. I mean, yeah, the first one was sort of successful, but it also got us in a lot of trouble. And then when I convinced Mike to try to take back the origami puppets, but then he got caught. Now we don’t know what Howell did with him!
But, if we accepted defeat, I also have to accept the fact that I may never see Chewie and Han Foldo again…
I can’t accept that. Plus, I’d do anything to help Tommy… yeah, he’s the best. 🙂 So, obviously, when Tommy told me about his plan, I was all in. We located some of our pals, including that one girl…
“Oh, hey, you’re Megan, right?” I asked the girl while she passed by my locker one day.
She looked at me and smiled. “Yeah, but you can call me Fred. Or Megan/Fred. I’m not picky.”
We chatted about some unimportant school stuff and how life was, etc. Then, I decided to take a risk and ask her to join our rebellion… although, if I recall, the last time I did that, it ended up with Megan accidentally telling Principal Rabbski about the rebellion and getting us in trouble… but I wasn’t thinking much about it at the time.
“Hey, you want to join our new origami rebellion?” I asked. “We’re trying to get our origami Star Wars characters back from Supreme Liter Coke.”
“Well, that totally sounds fizzpop and all, but wouldn’t I get in trouble for it?”
Oh no. Just like last time, I thought.
“Well, maybe…Iff we got caught. How about you be a secret member, under the codename… uh… Fold-crum!”
“Sure! Do I get, like, a fun little paper puppet too? I’m not very good at folding them…”
I thought about that for a moment, and then I took one of my folders out of my backpack. Inside, I found, hidden-away, the old origami Ahsoka Tano that Dwight had offered to give Rhondella way back when the old origami rebellion was intact. Poor Rhondella… I miss her. I mean, I still talk to her sometimes, but we’ve become increasingly distant from each other because of all the origami incidents. She never took Yoda’s advice… maybe she just hates origami…
Like I said, poor Rhondella. 😦
Enough nostalgia. Anyway, I gave Megan/Fred the paper Ahsoka, which she loved.
“This is totes adorbs!” she giggled. “Thanks, Sara! Count me in for the rebellion!”
In the end, we found a small group to help us. Here’s the lineup:
Tommy – Origami Kanan Jarrus (borrowed from Dan/Eggbert, who borrowed it from Noah)
Me – Hera Crease-dulla (she is totally boss!)
Harvey – EZ-ra Bridger (hmm, a bit of stretch just to put an “EZ” pun into Ezra’s name…)
Amy – Sabine Pen
Lance – Zeb Fold-relios
Dwight – Paper Heli-Chopper (A simple origami helicopter that looks like C1-10P! Genius!)
Megan/Fred – Fold-crum AKA Origami Ahsoka
We were ready for our strike mission.
Tommy’s comment: Let’s do this thing!
Fire Across McQuarrie
By Kellen (as heard from his “borrowed” recording device)
Ok, things are getting tense around here… and I’m not sure what side to pick. I mean, yeah, Tommy and the gang have been my friends for a long time, and we’ve been through a lot. But through all those adventures, I’ve realized who they really are on the inside.
Dwight is a troubled kid who begs for attention and gets not only himself, but also others, into lots of trouble.
Mike is too easily-influenced, which has gotten him into bad situations.
Quavondo does whatever it takes to get out of trouble, which usually involves lying.
Lance and Amy are stuck in their own little love world and act like they’re better than everyone else.
Harvey, although he’s gotten better, is still annoying, stuck-up, and just plain mean.
Rhondella is the biggest jerk ever. Nuff’ said.
Sara is manipulative and deceptive, e.g. the Fortune Wookiee incident.
And Tommy, my closest friend, I’ve realized, only talked to me because he had no one else… until he caught Sara’s attention. Now he barely talks with me.
But Supreme Liter Coke is offering me something better. Not so-called “friendship”… no, but respect. Friendship diminishes like burning candles. Respect is solid and rooted.
It’s what I want now. It’s what I deserve.
SL Coke has given me a new position in his empire. I am now Agent Kellen. I’ve been given an origami Agent Kallus. And I intend on crushing the rumored uprising… even if it involves stopping my friends.
This is my report of the fight at McQuarrie Middle School.
At 3:00 PM, while SLC was off in the library enjoying his scheduled leisure time, the Knights of Pen and I were by the vending machine, guarding the confiscated origami puppets.
Suddenly, Lance and Amy walked right in front of us. And started kissing. It was gross. Well, seeing as we were enforcers of the MMS law, two of the Knights went over to end the PDA. Lance and Amy made a break for it, and the two knights turned the corner to follow them. A few minutes passed, and the two kids hadn’t returned.
“I’ll go find out where those nitwits went…” grumbled Helen.
After Helen left, there were only three of us remaining to guard the puppets. Then, out of nowhere came Tommy, wielding Origami Kanan Jarrus.
“Hey, everyone,” Tommy said with a smirk. “I’m here to pick up a delivery.” He pointed to the bag of origami. “I believe that belongs to us.”
I frowned. “You want them, Tom? You’re going to have to go through us.”
Tommy took a moment to look at my eyes, then he sighed. “I will do what I must. You are my best friend, Kellen, and I would never have willingly hurt you.”
“Well, you should have thought about that before you left your best friend in the dust to hang out with Sara. ALL. THE. TIME. So, before you blame me, look at yourself in the mirror for once.”
“As long as that mirror doesn’t say ‘Kellen drinks pee,’ right?” Tommy laughed, shrugging off my accusation.
With that, I took out a Bo staff I borrowed from the gym supplies and pointed it at Tommy.
“Back off, Tommy. Final warning.”
He broke his smile and frowned at me. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”
With that, a large drone flew towards us. It had the words “The Phantom” written on it in sharpie. It started dropping water balloons filled with paint! It totally wrecked my white Doctor Who shirt!
This meant war.
Sara was controlling the drone from a distance. Lance and Amy, who had apparently trapped three of the knights, had returned and were trying to push past the two other knights. One knight pushed Amy hard, and she fell to the floor. Lance was not happy about that.
“Oh, you’re asking for a one-way trip to PAIN TOWN!!!”
Lance balled his fist and punched Max in the gut, who fell to the floor, gasping for air. Amy tripped the second knight. I had been dueling with Tommy this whole time, Bo staff vs. plastic lightsaber. It was epic. And I totally would have beaten him if Harvey hadn’t started throwing origami helicopter things at me to distract me, including Dwight’s origami Chopper. One hit me in the face, and I was pinned to the ground before I knew what was happening.
The rebels, who apparently go under the name, “The Ghost Crew,” left as soon as they had recovered the bag of origami.
The knights and I fought boldly, but we failed. I will take full responsibility for this loss, as any good leader would.
The True Story
HAH! Kellen, a good leader?! What a liar! After reading this past chapter, I was given the responsibility of telling what actually happened.
Now, Kellen did tell the truth for the most part, including Lance and Amy’s romantic distraction, the Phantom drone, and the battle with the two knights. We had trapped the first two knights in the janitor’s closet, and the third one who came for them got put with the others. We confronted the other two knights and “Agent” Kellen.
Nobody punched or tripped anyone. We just pinned the two knights against the wall. And Kellen? He just watched the whole time.
“You going to like fight us or anything?” asked Lance.
“No,” Kellen replied with a shrug. “You outsmarted us. It was a good plan. I respect that…” He moved out of the way so Tommy could grab the bag of origami, and we left.
Kellen was no fighting hero. He just let us take the bag. I’m pretty sure Kellen’s not totally dedicated to the cause. Who knows, maybe there’s a chance of redemption for him after all?
Tommy’s Comment: Wow… Harvey being compassionate? The world has turned upside-down. And by the way, I’m kinda concerned now. With Kellen leaving us to take the bag, I feel like one of three things could have been really going on. Maybe, as Harvey was saying, Kellen was going all-in as Kallus, including working to help us out on occasion. Maybe Kellen was acting like Thrawn, another Rebels villain, using the bag as bait to examine our group. Or maybe, JUST maybe, Kellen was really caught by surprise by our new team. For optimisms’ sake and the motivation of our team, we were going to act as though it was the third option. An excellent win for the Origami Ghost Crew!
According to Tommy, we had won! In the hallway, we were passing out the origami puppets back to all the original owners. A small party was going on in the library, and everyone was yub-nubbing, when suddenly a voice boomed from behind us.
“You’ve made a poor choice, rebels. Prepare for your destruction.”
We turned around and saw Job with his Inquist-origami, followed by at least two dozen kids with paper stormtrooper helmets.
“How in the world did you get this many soldiers?!” Lance asked in surprise.
Job grinned evilly. “Don’t any of you know the power of wishes?.”
“Wishes…” echoed Harvey. “The skittles.”
Job laughed. “Maybe… but that’s beside the point. Turn in your origami, or face our wrath. Agent Kellen has reported that only seven of you stand in the way of the Supreme Leader. You have no chance against our greater numbers. Surrender, now.”
“Wait!” yelled Tommy. “I challenge you to a duel. You win, we give you our origami back AND turn ourselves in to Principal Howell. We win, we keep the origami, and you give us your skittles. We’ve dealt with that stuff before. It’s bad, Job.”
Job adjusted his hood and pulled out his freshly-Walmart-purchased Grand Inquisitor lightsaber. “I will not give you any skittles—they are too powerful for such fools as your pitiful band… but I will except the remaining conditions of your challenge. In other words… Bring it on.”
To make a long story short, there was an epic lightsaber duel between Tommy and Job. They were both good. But there could be only one winner.
“Impossible!” yelled Job, pinned to the floor, gasping for air.
“Give us the skittles, Job,” said Tommy, who had grabbed the Grand Inquisit-origami. “We aren’t leaving without them.”
Job smirked. “Over my dead body!” He kicked Tommy, did a barrel roll, and grabbed Harvey’s Darth Paper out of his hands.
“Stormtroopers, seize these rebels!” said Darth Paper/Job. “I thought I could fairly negotiate with you all… Perhaps I was wrong.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time, Job.” An unknown voice rose above the sounds of pending battle.
A small girl pushed past through the crowd of spectators that had formed around us.
“Or should I say… JC?” The girl pulled her hood down. It was Megan/Fred!
Harvey gulped. “JC? My cousin?”
Job’s face paled as he removed his hood. His eyes welled up with what Mike would call “angry tears” as they met hers. “Megan?”
“That’s Fred to you. Remember me?”
Job frowned. “I came up with that nickname. It was our little inside joke. Of COURSE I remember you… You left me! You got me in trouble when I wanted to play videogames!”
Megan shook her head. “They were bad, violent videogames, JC. And you’ve made a lot of bad choices since then. I pity you.”
Then Job lost it. “NOOOO!!! I AM NOT TO BE PITIED. YOU ARE! BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA GET WRECKED!”
Job charged Megan/Fred, who nimbly dodged him. He threw his lightsaber at her, but she grabbed it and threw it aside. She must have been surprisingly strong, because she actually pinned Job against the wall. She took an opened skittles bag out of his pocket and threw some into her mouth.
Then, all the paper stormtrooper helmets disappeared from the kid soldiers’ heads. They looked around, confused and shocked.
“Where am I?” one kid asked. “What’s going on?”
“I feel like I’ve been under some kind of trance or something,” said another.
“How oddly specific…” another student murmured.
Then the kraken was unleashed. Principal Howell, with his impeccable timing, marched down the halls, fuming with rage.
“FOR PETE’S SAKE, WHAT IS GOING ON?! YOU TWO! JOB AND MEGAN! MY OFFICE! NOW! THE REST OF YOU KIDS, SCATTER! GO! NOW!”
“There are some things far more frightening than death,” Job sneered. “That includes the Principal’s office. Bye.” He popped a skittle in his mouth and vanished without a trace.
Harvey’s Comment: Leave it to Howell to end a party. P.S. JC never returned Darth Paper.
Well, in the end, we got our origami back, but it came at a price. Although Job got suspended, which is good, so did Megan/Fred. We’d barely gotten to know our new friend before she was gone.
Sara and Megan were talking a lot. Sara felt bad cause she didn’t want to get her in trouble, even though Megan made the decision to fight Job. They exchanged phone numbers so they could hang out. I think those two are going to be good friends.
Of course, all of that was because of the Knights of Pen, which had originated all of this horrible mess-up. Coke, the Knights, and Kellen have disappeared for now. I’m afraid what machinations they have planned for the future…
But like I said at the beginning of this case file: we still have hope.
The sun set as Megan/“Fredcrum” walked down the steps outside McQuarrie Middle School. And, if I know anything about Star Wars or our adventures here… Ahsoka lives, and she will return.
P.S. I taped the Grand Inquisit-origami into this case file. A little souvenir.