Episode IX: The Mystery of the Fortune Clone Trooper
by Kellen and his recorder-thingy
First of all, we’re not done with this case file. We keep rereading it to figure out who the guilty person is. Anyway, it all started when- scratch that, I have no idea when this happened- when there was this new kid here named Dan. He read the newspaper about our rebellion against FunTime, so he made his own little cootie-catcher: the Fortune Clone-trooper! For short, we call it the FCL, or the Clone-trooper. He introduced himself, and at lunch, he introduced the FCL. “Yeah, well, this might have good advice, but the Fortune Wookiee’s advice is better!”, said Tommy. “Hey, chill out, dude! You just met the guy. You haven’t even gotten one fortune from it yet.”, I said. “OK, I’ll ask it a question, I guess. FCL, I’m bored. What should I do?”, he asked. “Pick one of these options.”, Dan said. “Right helmet, left helmet, left arch, or right arch.” “Huh?” you can tell that he was pretty confused by his options. “Right helmet means the right section of his helmet, left helmet means the left section of his helmet, left arch means the left part of that arch at the bottom, and right arch means the right part of the arch on the bottom”, said Dan.
“Left helmet.”, said Tommy. “OK, pick one of these numbers: 1,2,5, or 6.” “6!” “OK, now pick one of those same numbers again.”, Dan replied. “5.”, said Tommy. So Dan opened up the flap and read the Fortune: “SPL”. “What does that stand for?”, asked Tommy. “You’ll find out soon enough. And when you do, you’ll know what to do.”, said Dan. “But how will that put me out of my boredom?” “Like I said! When you find out what it means, the answer will come to you.”, he replied. Me and Tommy figured that out soon enough. And if you don’t like a good mystery, don’t read the rest of the case file! (Or at least what we have so far, you know.)
Immediately after that, the lights went out. Nobody could even see. All of a sudden, I heard someone running. And then someone took the Fortune Wookiee! It sounded like paper being thrown, so I think that someone put the FW somewhere that we kids are not allowed to go to or something. Then, I heard more footsteps, and the lights turned back on! When people saw me without the Fortune Wookiee, they were shocked. And that’s when me, Tommy, Kellen, and a bunch of other kids got together to solve this mystery. At computers class, we had free time, so Kellen googled “SPL”.
He found out that it stood for “Superfolder Protection League”, and we also found out that when Kellen posted the case files online (we all think they’re interesting), this kid read it, made some origami, and coined the word “superfolder”. The popularity of the word spread across the internet. We already knew it spread around the internet, but we didn’t know how it all started. So then when we remembered that, we figured out how Dan heard about Yoda. Anyway, the SPL is this group of kids who try to protect other superfolders, mainly from getting hacked, but they do all sorts of protection. So Tommy figured out that the FCL was trying to tell him to get help from the SPL, so he sent them this email:
my name is Tommy, and believe it or not, I’m the Tommy from the case files with Origami Yoda in them, which you’ve probably read. There’s this new kid at our school named Dan who heard about our case files, and made an origami clone-trooper in the form of a cootie catcher, and at lunch, the lights went out, and someone stole the Fortune Wookiee from Sara! We need your help to figure out who did it. If you have any questions, just ask. Please help us!
He got this email back:
“OK, we need a full telling of what happened from Sara.
So I ema- never mind, you’re probably getting bored of reading emails. So I told them everything. They said we should try to borrow the FCL from him as evidence, despite the fact that it might not work. The next day was kind of like a disturbance in the Force for us, and at lunch, Harvey was telling us about how cool the FCL is. “But it’s a clone-trooper. And you’re a guy with the Darth Paper, and Darth Vader is in the Empire. The clone-troopers are for Jedi, so if you’re gonna be an Imperial guy, you should be going for a Stormtrooper. They changed it from Clone-trooper to Stormtrooper during Order 66.”, said Tommy.
“You’re such a geek, Tommy. I’m aware of this. So what?!”
I was so tired of Harvey, I did something I regretted 2 seconds later. All I did was try to elbow him, but I accidentally threw my pizza slice at him! “LOOKS LIKE THERE’S A FOOD FIGHT!”, he yelled. I couldn’t believe it. I had accidentally started a food fight, but at least Tommy, Kellen, Rhondella, and Amy knew it was an accident, since they were at my table.
Since food was flying everywhere, the adults couldn’t pinpoint who was involved during most of it, so I figured I wouldn’t get it any more trouble if I threw anymore food, so I decided to throw some more food at Harvey. But you won’t believe what happened next!
Harvey the tattle-tale: by Tommy: Just at that exact moment, one of the most evil people ever, Mrs. Rabbski, came in. “WHO STARTED THIS FOOD FIGHT?”, she yelled. Everybody froze. Sara was really scared. “SHE DID! SHE DID!”, Harvey yelled as he pointed to Sara. “SHE THREW FOOD AT EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE CAFETERIA!”. Sara would’ve probably crumpled up his Darth Paper if Principal Rabbski wasn’t there. Not only that, but Harvey decided to be even MORE of a smart-aleck, so he then said that me, Kellen, Rhondella, and Amy joined together with Sara, so he basically said that everybody at our table other than himself started it. Which is a total lie!
So that’s how we all ended up in the office. Luckily, my parents thought that Harvey’s accusation was totally ridiculous, so at least I didn’t get grounded or anything. Plus, Kellen’s, Rhondella’s, Amy’s, and Sara’s parents all said the same things to them, according to the emails they sent me. But anyway, the next day, we asked Dan if we could borrow the FCL. But instead of saying yes, he just said, “As if I would lend it to the people who started a food fight!”. “You actually think that Harvey was telling the truth? You’re crazy!” said Kellen. “You people are the crazy ones, considering you actually thought that getting the FCL would be good evidence as to solve who stole that Fortune Wookiee of yours.” “HOW DID YOU KNOW?”, I said. “I’m not saying I asked the FCL, but I asked the FCL.”, he responded. So that’s our explanation if anyone asks how we lost our evidence. That’s our case file so far. I know we don’t have much, but we’re gonna put more in it to figure out who did it. Heck, this might go on for months for all I know. I really have no idea how long it is until we get more evidence… if we get anymore at all.
After a week, we finally got more help from the SPL! We emailed them everything that happened, and here’s what they emailed us back:
“A food fight?! I already knew Harvey was trouble, but seriously?! OK, you’re gonna need to figure out a way to get the FCL without Dan’s approval. So our advice is that you just randomly steal it from him at lunch.
“How the heck are we supposed to do that?”, I responded via email.
“If you really need help, we’ll send a representative to help you guys out. His name is Sam. He has folded an Origami Lando Calrissian, so that you know it’s him.
“Awesome! Can’t wait,” I emailed them.
So at lunch, we met Sam. He was actually pretty cool. He looked like something between the Men in Black and a skater dude, with spiky blonde hair, skin-tight black clothes, and dark sunglasses. Sam just simply took the FCL out of Dan’s hands. (This was surprisingly easy.) But Dan looked very mad at us. “You guys really ARE just troublemakers, huh? Harvey was right!”
The lights went off again. Then, after a few long seconds, they flickered back on. Everybody was in the exact same position they were in before, except that Dan wasn’t holding the FCL anymore. “No!” he cried. “Not the Fortune Clone Trooper!!”
We had no idea what to do next. And when we don’t know what to do, there’s only one hope left: Origami Yoda.
During computer class we emailed Dwight. But so far, we haven’t gotten a response. But at least we got that information from the SPL, even though it didn’t work. I just hope that Dwight checks his email…
The Plot (Unlike Tommy’s Hair) Thickens
I was sitting in math class, when I felt someone tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and saw the most beautiful girl. Her dark brown hair almost covered her freckle-specked face, and whatever the hair didn’t cover was blocked out by reading glasses. She wore a freshly-picked flower in her hair, and smelled like the springtime.
“May I please—if I’m not intruding—borrow a pencil? I lost mine.” Her voice sounded somewhat raspy, but I came to learn that this was just how she normally talked. It was kind of cute.
I realized I had been staring at her.
“Oh! Um, well sure!” I handed her a neatly sharpened no. 2 pencil. Her eyes lit up.
“Oh, thank you! I’m Isabel, by the way.”
“That’s a really nice name.”
I blushed. Realizing I had a manly image to uphold, I snapped out of it and turned back around, to face Mr. Weinger.
Dan burst through the door, lugging his backpack behind him. “Sorry I’m late,” he sat down in the seat to my left, next to me. We’d sorta become friends lately. It was actually kinda cool hanging out with him.
Sam was sitting in the seat to my right. He kept looking at Dan, expecting something to happen.
The lights shut off for a few minutes. I felt my chair get pushed around a bit. Then the lights came back on. Dan was gone, and so was my Darth Paper.
“Arrgh! Why do I never get a best friend who sticks with me?!” I cried out to anyone who’d listen.
“Hey,” Isabel put her hand on my shoulder. “I’ll be your friend.”
I smiled. “That would be Stooky.”
Well, with Fortune Wookiee, Fortune Clone, and Darth Paper all gone, I decided to take protective measures. So, I locked all the Origami Rebel Alliance puppets in my locker, safe and sound.
Well, all except for Yoda. He was still giving out advice as usual (though, without DP, it was kinda boring. And I hadn’t seen Harvey all week. Ever since he met that Isabel girl…..she IS pretty cute, though), when one day……
“Yoda’s GONE!” Dwight exclaimed. “Someone took him from my pocket! Where is he?!?”
I ran to my locker, to make sure all the other puppets were still safe. Phew. They were all safe as usual.
I went back to Dwight, who had folded an Emergency Yoda, just in case.
“A Bad Feeling About This, I have.” E-Z Yoda said.
Sam walked towards us. “Guys! Guys!”
He slowed down, panting. “The rest of the puppets are gone! Kellen left his locker open! What are we gonna do?!?”
“You’re the SPL guy! Why don’t you stop whoever is doing this?!”
“Well, I DO have a lead….” He lowered his voice. “Dan.”
“What?” I said. “But Dan’s Fortune Clone got stolen! Why would he pretend to steal his own origami?”
“Misdirection,” Sam’s voice was flat. “You’d never see him coming.”
Dan walked past us, and looked worried. He kept staring at Sam. Suddenly, Sam turned around, and held down Dan.
“Alright, kid! Where’s the puppets?!” He yelled.
“I don’t know! I didn’t take them!”
Sam reached into Dan’s pocket, and pulled out none other than Origami Yoda.
“What the heck?!” Tommy cried. “Well, okay, I guess I should have seen it coming. New kid. Origami bad guy. Big mystery. It’s getting kind of old.”
Sam stood up, keeping a hold on Dan. “The SPL will take it from here. Thank you, Tommy. This wouldn’t have been possible without you.” He tossed Foldy-Wan Kenobi at Tommy, after pulling it from Dan’s backpack.
Later that day, our finger puppets were found taped to our lockers. The SPL had saved the day!
Things were pretty quiet after that. Dan didn’t bother us. Harvey was in love. Everything seemed normal.
But nothing stays normal at McQuarrie for long.
The REAL Culprit
One day, me, Kellen, Sara, and Remi were all sitting at a table in the library, when Remi spotted something.
“Oh my gosh, is that Harvey?!” She pointed towards the table in the corner. Harvey was sniffling, holding a big box of tissues in his hand.
We went up to him.
“Hey, Harvey,” I said. “What’s wrong, man?”
“Isabel…..” He choked back tears. He babbled for a bit. I couldn’t understand him. Kellen and I just shrugged.
“Oh, you poor thing!” Sara knelt down next to him, patting his back. “Poor thing…..”
“What? What happened?” Kellen said.
“Isabel broke up with Harvey,” Remi said. “Duh.”
“Girls understand this stuff,” Sara sat down next to Harvey. Remi sat on the opposite side.
Apparently—at least, according to Sara and Remi’s translations—Harvey and Isabel got into a fight (not surprising. When doesn’t Harvey feel the need to criticize stuff?), when Isabel decided that they should “take a break for awhile. Cool down a bit.”
Long story short, she dissed him.
Kellen nudged me. “Dude,” he said. “What if Sam got the wrong guy? What if….. Isabel……”
I bolted. Running out of the library, I made my way down the halls, searching for Isabel. I saw her, sitting in a spinny-chair in an empty school room, holding Darth Paper in her hands.
“HEY!” I shouted. “GIVE US OUR ORIGAMI BACK, SITH SCUM!!”
She looked startled. I ran over to her, but she kicked her legs against the teacher’s desk and rolled past me. She started running out of the room, when Kellen blocked the door.
“Going somewhere, Izzy?”
“You must have pretended to like Harvey,” I said. “But just so you could get our origami figures. Once you had taken them all, you framed Dan for stealing them. Then somehow, you kept Darth Paper for yourself. Maybe because you’re the Sith type.”
“What are you taking about?” She looked frightened. “I didn’t do anything!”
Harvey ran in the door. “Isabel’s innocent! She really is!”
“It’s true,” Sara and Remi walked in. “He stopped crying and explained better. But we think we know who the REAL culprit is…..”
The REALLY REAL Culprit
“Okay, think about this for a second. The origami finger puppets were disappearing. The Fortune Clone’s advice mentioned the SPL. We looked it up, emailed them, and we got Sam to help us solve the mystery.
“Then, Harvey sat in between Dan, Isabel, and Sam, and Dan left after the lights turned off. Everybody else was still there.
After that, it was Sam who told us that Kellen’s locker was left open. And it was Sam who got Yoda and Foldy-Wan from Dan.
So, what if—”
“What if I did it?” Sam stood at the door. He had changed his sunglasses to a darker red pair. He was frowning.
“You,” Tommy said. “You told me—”
“Misdirection. You never saw me coming, did you?” He smirked.
“But, the SPL!”
“Samuel Patrick Larson. My full name. The SuperFolder Protection League was a FICTION. You really think anybody was actually interested in what you’ve been doing?! Heh. Not even close—!”
Someone lunged at Sam, and held him to the ground. Dan.
“Somebody WAS inspired by them!” He said.
“Dan?!” Kellen said. “Where did you come from?!?”
“I’m from the REAL SuperFolder Protection League! And my name’s not Dan. It’s SuperFolder Eggbert!”
We all stood, aghast.
“Oh, well, I guess that’s kind of my username, but….you get the point.” He carried Sam away.
Later, we talked to Dan/Eggbert. He basically told us that Jango Fortune was made to protect us. To lead us to find the culprit behind the origami kidnappings. Apparently, the sixth and seventh graders also were having their origami characters stolen, besides us. And when Eggbert came to help, Sam hacked his SPL email, and pretended to be an undercover guy.
Now, I can confidently say that this mystery is solved, AND that we had made a new friend in Eggbert/Dan.
Oh, and I almost forgot. Harvey and Isabel are totally cool now. After taking that small break to cool down, Harvey’s more calm than ever!
Harvey’s Comment: But I’m still gonna comment on the case files! You’ll never be rid of me! Haha!
Isabel’s Comment: Harv….be nice!
Harvey’s Other Comment: Sigh……Yes, ma’am.
Tommy’s Comment: Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this!
Written By SuperFolder StarWarsFanMax