ShredMan

ShredMan

By: SF_THRAWN

Prologue

By- Derrick Boston

So I’m writing this because something terrible happened to me. I only remember bits and pieces of the event, but my memory is primarily – no, it’s totally gone. So are my parents for that matter. Don’t cry for me, remember, I can’t. From what the nurses tell me, I was the worst person ever, I made fun of people’s passions and the world made me pay for it. But, while I was getting served I was also getting a second chance, a chance to be a better person.

The speed limit is NOT 88 mph

By- Derrick Boston

[Information compiled by the nurses and police officers and edited by Derrick Boston to fit into his point of view]

Me and my family were driving away from the theater after seeing some movie, they had started one of their classic arguments, so of course I had to interject. I hated to see them fight and I knew it was my fault. One crummy summer and lead to a lot of pain. It went on like that for I think, like, twenty minutes until they started to talk about bills and nearby adoption centers, then my mom started to complain that it would cost more money to put me in there than it cost for the birth certificate. I couldn’t fight with them or I would have a new black eye to add to my growing collection of wounds. I sat in the back listening to them argue when something caught my eye, the speedometer was getting dangerously high.

“Hey, Hey mom!” I yelled.

“Shut up!”

“Dad!”

“Same!” He said.

“The speedometer.”

He then realised that we were in the wrong lane and that’s when we got hit by the truck.

Hitching a ride to the hospital

By- Derrick Boston

I will say this about ambulances, it’s the best when they show up out of nowhere. I had no clue where I was, I just knew that I was in pain. There was fire everywhere and two limp things. I could hear these loud noises behind me as the door was torn off of its hinges. I couldn’t remember what happened next but I do know that I was suddenly in a hospital room. 

“Excuse me, young man.” Someone said.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Can you tell me who you are?”

“I’m Don? No, no, I’m Cody…”

And then I passed out; very slick.

[LATER]

So, it turns out that I have amnesia and my parents are gone. I have no problem with this, since I have no clue who they are, I just know that I want to get out of this hospital bed as soon as possible. 

Possible.

By- Derrick Boston

My return to Donner was eventful; I unloaded from my new group homes minivan and stumbled out onto the curb. Apparently, I was the new big shot because everyone was staring at me.

“They thought you were dead.” Damian Murke said.

Damian was a pretty cool kid, if I do say so myself. He was fairly down to earth but crazy enough that you had a good time with him. 

“I feel dead.” I said.

I was walking through the halls while failing to avoid your usual crowd of girls who wanted to be known as the ‘caring’ type when a kid in an arm cast came running up to me and shooting them off.

“Back foul demons!” He yelled while waving his arms around “For my man is not a simp!”

“Who are you?” Damian asked.

“Oh, I’m Derrick’s only friend.” He said.

“That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“Ok fine, my name is Arnold Drake.” Arnold said, “By the way do you still have that Robin puppet?”

“Um no?” I said

“Good, because he would be practically destroyed,” He said.

I had no clue who Robin was but I could tell it was (And would) be important to my future. My day flew by pretty fast up until lunch. I was sitting alone for some time when I saw the same group of girls from before get up and start to walk over to me when Arnold came up to the girls and started his whole anti-simp spiel, he was walking over to me when Damian intercepted and started to argue with him.

“Can the both of you please just shut up!” I told both of them.

They then silenced and sat down. I slumped down in my chair and just started to slowly munch on my french fries when the horrible scent of sweat and high protein diet waifed to my nose. 

“Hey, aren’t you guys Swift’s goons?” Arnold said.

“Yeah, but we got fired,” one of them said.

“Because you both got beat.” Damian said.

“How do you know that?” He continued.

He was about to go to hit them both and something inside of me must have snapped because I got up and whacked them both with a chair.

My first instinct.

By- Derrick Boston

The chair thing was completely impromptu, I had no plan, just chair. It was very effective because they both slumped over and fell to the floor. I was then promptly led to the office. After that situation was over, the end of the school day came pretty quick. The van ride to the group home was not that quiet, Maria argued with Juan over the correct answer for a math exam and Kaylee was talking about the varying shapes of glitter and how good they reflect light. I could only think about what Arnold had said to me earlier about Robin. 

When we pulled up I jumped out of the van and ran inside to the room I was staying in. I ruffled through my pants until I pulled out a crumpled puppet of a kid in a spangly outfit. Damian then appeared over my shoulder.

“Tell me everything.”

I didn’t believe half of what he told me, it sounded made up. Origami DC heroes, I must have been in favor of it because I clearly had one.

“You hated the idea,” Damian said.

“How do you know?” I asked

“Because you were pretty verbal about your opinions.”

He then pulled out his phone and showed me a video of me messing around with the Robin puppet and saying some choice words about people I didn’t know. He put his phone away and looked at me.

“So, how do you feel?” He said.

“Dead.”

“Do you think you can improve?”

I looked down at the Robin in my hands.

“Yes.”

ShredMan

By- Derrick Boston

People change, sort of like Superman. At first you’re like Nick Cage, pretty terrible but people like you for some obscure reason that even they can’t point out and then, boom! You get a glow up and you become Henry Cavill, or something like that. To be frank, I was my own worst enemy for some time. I mocked and scowled the people around me because I thought that it would make me feel better but after getting stood up by life and having a hot date with death I can confidently say that I am a better man. Nick Cage me is dead and, to be honest; I sort of liked him, but there is one important lesson that I should probably take away from all this.

I don’t know that lesson. But what I do know is that I can’t carry Robin anymore, there’s a dude who already does that and I sort of like my legs the way they are. What I’m trying (Really hard) to say is that I need to change and learn from my past self, like the avatar, so I think it’s time to declare my new status. The school needs me and that’s pretty clear. I have been rambling on and on about how me and death are dating (Sort of) so I proudly present the new me.

I. Am. SHREDMAN!

Epilogue

By- Derrick Boston

It’s been at least a week since the whole Shredman thing. It turns out that my mother is still alive and she’s just in a coma, I check up on her weekly. She’s doing about as good as an unconscious person can be, good for her. I also got this weird invite in the mail about me joining a team, I have no clue how someone found my active place of residence but they probably talked to Damian because he is pretty stoked about the whole ‘Me-being-a-hero’ thing. So, I guess I’ll be doing that.

Derrick Boston and ShredMan will be returning in Justice Pleats: Dark!

  1. Pretty good, a smidge incomprehensible during certain times, but it does have a pretty good message of self improvement, Derrick has been superfun to write about in Justice Pleats Dark! A solid 6/10, not bad at all.

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