Shadow the FoldHog
Chapter 1: I get hired
By Preston’s top-secret recording system (Or more literally, a phone in a pocket.)
Ex-tech teacher Pollock: Am I sure I can trust you?
Me: Just gimme the dang money and I’ll help. Honest.
*Sound of dollars crinkling*
Me: Pleasure doing business with you.
Pollock: Hold up, what about the other part?
Me: Oh, yeah.
*I give him Doctor Eggcarton. He gives me Shadow the foldhog.*
Pollock: Now get outta my office.
Me: We’re not in an office. We’re in the mall, remember? You don’t have a job anymore.
Pollock: Oh, right. I’m just used to saying that.
Me: *walks away*
Chapter 2: Who I am
Hi. The name’s Hortwitz. Preston Hortwitz. I’m kind of a mercenary, albeit a thirteen year old one. I used to only be a mercenary in Minecraft, being hired to grief other players in return for emeralds, diamonds, and armor. But yesterday I got a real job. Our school has, or had, a tech teacher named Mr. Pollock. I was his favorite student and he gave me the high-ranking military position of Hall Monitor. I could tell off students, and if they refused to acknowledge me I could have their sorry butts thrown in detention! I ruled the hallways, locker rooms, and bathroom doorways! I was having a great time, until that kid Jacob came along. He exposed our Tech teacher, or supreme overlord as I called him. With him out of office, and some handsome model as our new tech teacher, I was fired! The shame of it! The shame of it! I went to see Pollock and he made a contract with me. I gave him a chance to get him his job back and an egg carton with a Dr Robotnik face taped to it, and he gave me a puppet of Shadow the Hedgehog. I was almost ready to face Jacob, the wielder of Sonic. I went back home and prepared my stuff:
-Nerf Elite Hyperfire
-Two milk jugs worth of Nerf darts
-Chaos Control blasts (Water balloons filled with Texas Pete and Takis)
-Worm launcher (Marshmallow gun with Taki dust-covered marshmallows)
-Takis and Texas Pete for getting answers…if you know what I mean.
-A drone that has a taped-on Rouge the Bat face.
Once again this school would know and fear the names Mr. Pollock and Preston Hortwitz.
Chapter 3:Worm launcher rampage
As recorded by Rouge the Drone
E-z fly drone camera recorder system booting up.
Name: E-z fly brands skysweeper, aka “Rouge”
Date: November 4th, 2013
Place: Rapids Middle School
Task: Lookout for Preston and Shadow as they take on Jacob.
Preston: Aha! There you are, Jacob!!
Jacob: Oh, hi, Preston.
Preston: Don’t “oh, hi,” me!
Shadow: Chaos control!
Jacob: *Snickers* what?
Jacob: What the- I’m covered in Texas Pete hot sauce!
Preston: GIVE THE PUPPET! NOW!!!
Jacob: Never! We’ll never surrender!
Preston: I guess we’ll have to use the…attitude adjuster, won’t we Shadow?
Shadow: PREPARE THE WORM SHOOTER!
*Sound of marshmallow gun firing*
Jacob: NOOOOO! I hate Takis!
Jacob:It burns! It burns!!!
Preston: There’s more comin’, should ya misbehave! Now hand me the puppet!
Preston: Coward. He’ll be back.
Chapter 4: Realization
I went back to face Preston. I have an inkling he might be working for EGGMAN!
No, not ACTUAL Eggman, but the next best…or worst…thing! MR. POLLOCK: THE TYRANNICAL TECH TEACHER!
(That’s a real tongue twister, hehe…)
When I finally found Preston, he instantly acquired Shadow and wiggled him, saying in a gruff voice, “Stand back, Bledge-hog! You’re not allowed in my hallway anymore!” I wiggled Sonic and he said, “Wow, picky, picky, picky.”
“DON’T MOCK THE HALL MONITOR!!!” He shot me with Nerf darts. I dodged and ducked and even deflected them with my bare hands. “CHAOS CONTROL!” I dodged as Texas Pete splattered everywhere.
“You’re too slow!” said Sonic. “Don’t you remember!” I cried. “He’s using you! He’ll get his job back and he’ll hardly give you anything in return!” He lowered his fists and said, “He does?”
“Yeah! Remember my science project?”
“Oh, yeah,” He chuckled, “He gave you an F because he said he didn’t like your t-shirt.”
“Wanna fight him?” I said.
“Sure,” He replied.
The Texas Pete redemption
As Recorded By Rouge the Drone
Location: Pay-n-play mall, Rapid City, Michigan
Target: Mr. Pollock
Current situation: Preston and Jacob come in holding big Texas Pete water balloon bazookas
Mr Pollock: I see you’ve brought me a gift.
Jacob: And me too!
Shadow: CHAOS BLASTS!
BOOM! SPLASH! SPLASH!
Mr Pollock: NOOOOO! My new red-and-yellow jacket!
Dr. Egg-carton: This isn’t the last of me, rodents! We’ll meet again! Just you wait!
So ends another log in the stories of Sonic the Foldhog.
Preston has become a close ally. Not a particularly nice one, but a good one.
And I don’t know where we’re gonna go…
Who we’re gonna meet…
But no matter what…
WE DO IT TOGETHER!